| fuck i am starving
starving like crazy and have already had some food
including chocolate coverd coffee beans 4 of them
i'm not proud
i dont know what i am going to do
although i am going dancing tonight witch may make it worth it if i do make my self some lunch
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| i sometimes wish i could go anywhere else
my parents are always calling me fat
saying zoe you will never be skinny
even when you were in the best shape of your life you will never be skinny
what is that to tell someone you love
they always squash my dreams always telling me zoe you cant move to vegas how will you survive
zoe you cant become a famous dancer you will never be good enough
zoe your fat and ugly and you wont amount to anything so you might as well stay right here forever with us
nobody can live like this
i dont want to live in a family that wont think that i am worth anything |
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| i feel better
i find my self wanting to eat everything so i will be so fat and ugly no one will ever want to touch me again
it sounds like such a good plan
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| i havent written in so long i have had a lot to think about
last night was the aniverisy of the night that i got raped
the thought that it was comming closer hurt so bad
i just wanted to die
people came over with out my knowing
but i made them all leave
i could not stand to be around anyone or be touched
people think touch is such a comferting emotion
everytime someone touched me i wanted to die
today my bodie achs
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| io just swam naked with a bunch of peoplr i dont really like in fact one of them i hate
i am so drunk
i hate my self
so many wasted cals
i can still taste the rum
i cant even see straight
nuff said i am going to bed before i make anymore of an ass of my slef
poop |
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